One of the biggest highlights of this year was finishing my university degree. After three years of blood, sweat, tears and shorthand, I completed a degree in multimedia journalism at Bournemouth Univeristy. The months completing the dissertation were some of my worst and brought on stress and anxiety like I’ve never had before, not even mentioning the weight I put on.. but I did it. And it’s one of the best feelings in the world!
Another highlight was getting to go on my dream holiday for the fourth time - going to Disney World Florida and Universal Studios Orlando. I am a huge Disney fan and it really is one of the happiest places on Earth. You feel constantly in a euphoric bubble that when you leave, it’s a huge drop in emotion. Some days I wasn’t happy, mainly because someone at home was causing me grief, but overall, it was the best holiday of my life and the bond with my family grew stronger.
And it was good that the bond with my family grew stronger, because not long after I got back from holiday, my first long term relationship came to an end. It’s been one of the hardest hitting things I’ve experienced in a long time. At the start of 2017, I was certain that this guy was the one. He was my best friend. We would talk about our future after univeristy and finding a place together when he’s finished his degree. I embraced his love for fifa and cheered him on when he played and he let us watch every Disney movie under the sun without moaning about it. We would take trips to ikea and pretend we were choosing things for our own place - strangely enough most of the time we’d choose the same things. I’ve also got to thank him for getting me into Game Of Thrones.
We were so in sync that I was naive in thinking that nothing could change, nothing could touch our love. But I was wrong. Initially he was nice about it and came round and discussed how he was unhappy and stressed due to his current career choices, how it was affecting his mental health. I understood how he was feeling and knew it was best for him to go and get his own space and sort himself out. He told me once he was sorted in himself that he would come back and we could rekindle what we had. Broken and confused, I didn’t let myself move on because of what he said that day, but when I asked for closure a month later because it was messing with my head, he told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore. He was “softening the blow” before because I had my graduation ceremony coming up.
I didn’t think I could be broken twice, but I was. After a heated phone call that was it, done and dusted. Time will let me forgive and forget, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him to be honest. I always question how much of the initial break up was true. Were those tears real? Will he really always love me? I guess I’ll never know.
But with loss comes gain. I filled the void with my first car, my beautiful little fiat! It’s a car I’ve wanted since I passed my test 3 years ago and to have my dream car is such an achievement. I also got a new job and it’s helped keep me busy and happy - I’ve made such amazing new friends and it’s done so much good in my life - I’ve also been offered a team leader role within three months so it can’t be all bad!
I’ve also reunited with a girl who I’m so happy is back in my life. My main girl Hannah, who I came back in contact with after finshing university has been my rock since my break up - I honestly can’t thank her enough for making this last half of this year bareable. She took me away to Dublin, another main highlight this year, and taught me that you don’t need a man to be happy, just friends and family who adore you. Here’s to many more memories and trips in 2018! Catch flights not feelings!
Looking onward to 2018, I’ve decided it’s going to be all about working on myself. I’m no longer giving all of me to someone else, so it’s time I got in gear - get a journalism job that I love, keep building friendships and making memories with them, work on my fitness (I’m not saying I’ll lose weight this year cause I say it every year and I think it’s bad luck as it never works) and just in general, be a stronger, happier, better me.
Goodbye 2017, I’ll only miss half of you.
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