Goals for 2018.

After a week of settling into the new year, I thought it would be a good idea to sit and think about what I actually want to achieve this year. From keeping fit to keeping note, here are some tasks I'm going to attempt to upkeep for more than a couple months.

Take better care of myself.

After coming home from university last summer, it really hit me how in awful condition my body was. I had gained a ton of weight, my skin wasn't in the best condition due to my psoriasis, my roots were growing out and my eating habits were enough to make you feel ill.

Now i'm home, those days of takeaway every day (yes, some weeks that really is what I did) are far behind - it would be amazing to go the whole year without a single McDonalds, KFC or Pizza Hut, but I don't know how well that will pan out! At least for January, that is the aim. So far, so good! I also want to up my fitness levels, so maybe joining a class is something I'll consider.

I also need to keep on top of moisturising, exfoliating, all that jazz. Having psoriasis, an incurable skin condition which makes my skin dry and patchy, I need to keep my skin hydrated and taken care of, otherwise I start to look like an unfinished puzzle.. And in doing so, I also need to drink more water! I'm terrible when it comes to drinking water, so maybe I'll invest in a snazzy water bottle that will make me want to drink it.

Make more memories with my friends.

Having an 'adult' lifestyle means I hardly see my friends as we're always working, but this year I hope to make more of an effort to get out and live my life on the occasion i'm not working. I won't bail on plans like I used to - as much as my bed is comfy, my friends are also just as important. There's no point staying in, otherwise that's all I'll remember when i'm grey and old.

Visit the theatre more.

I recently got to see the incredible Aladdin at the Prince Edward theatre on the west end, and it has sparked my old love for musicals and all things stagey. When I was younger, my mum would always try her hardest to make sure we went to the theatre every so often, and I'm so glad she did. It's such an underrated experience - yes it can be pricey, but you're never disappointed with the show, its part of London culture and you always leave in a great mood. As much as I'm a cinema buff and love going to watch movies, musicals on stage with live music and live singing, dancing and acting is just that much more immersive and heartfelt.

Work hard, apply hard!

I've recently got my degree in multimedia journalism, but I am yet to get my break in the industry. I'm keeping on top of my writing and editing skills with this blog in the meantime, but I would love to land my first journalism job by the end of the year. I currently work in retail, but it's not where my heart lies. Or what I studied for three years for!

And mostly, this year I need to be happy and have the confidence in myself I used to have. Losing someone you gave so much of yourself to is actually draining of your own worth and happiness. I need to build it up again and be myself. Love will come around when I've learnt to love myself.

“Just like, realising things” - a summary of 2017.

In the words of Kylie Jenner, I’ve had a chance to sit back and realise things. Looking back on 2017, it’s fair to say it’s been an absolutely shit up and down year. So I’m going to talk about the highlights and low lights and hopefully leave it all behind in this post.

One of the biggest highlights of this year was finishing my university degree. After three years of blood, sweat, tears and shorthand, I completed a degree in multimedia journalism at Bournemouth Univeristy. The months completing the dissertation were some of my worst and brought on stress and anxiety like I’ve never had before, not even mentioning the weight I put on.. but I did it. And it’s one of the best feelings in the world! 

Another highlight was getting to go on my dream holiday for the fourth time - going to Disney World Florida and Universal Studios Orlando. I am a huge Disney fan and it really is one of the happiest places on Earth. You feel constantly in a euphoric bubble that when you leave, it’s a huge drop in emotion. Some days I wasn’t happy, mainly because someone at home was causing me grief, but overall, it was the best holiday of my life and the bond with my family grew stronger. 

And it was good that the bond with my family grew stronger, because not long after I got back from holiday, my first long term relationship came to an end. It’s been one of the hardest hitting things I’ve experienced in a long time. At the start of 2017, I was certain that this guy was the one. He was my best friend. We would talk about our future after univeristy and finding a place together when he’s finished his degree. I embraced his love for fifa and cheered him on when he played and he let us watch every Disney movie under the sun without moaning about it. We would take trips to ikea and pretend we were choosing things for our own place - strangely enough most of the time we’d choose the same things. I’ve also got to thank him for getting me into Game Of Thrones.

We were so in sync that I was naive in thinking that nothing could change, nothing could touch our love. But I was wrong. Initially he was nice about it and came round and discussed how he was unhappy and stressed due to his current career choices, how it was affecting his mental health. I understood how he was feeling and knew it was best for him to go and get his own space and sort himself out. He told me once he was sorted in himself that he would come back and we could rekindle what we had. Broken and confused, I didn’t let myself move on because of what he said that day, but when I asked for closure a month later because it was messing with my head, he told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore. He was “softening the blow” before because I had my graduation ceremony coming up. 

I didn’t think I could be broken twice, but I was. After a heated phone call that was it, done and dusted. Time will let me forgive and forget, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him to be honest. I always question how much of the initial break up was true. Were those tears real? Will he really always love me? I guess I’ll never know. 

But with loss comes gain. I filled the void with my first car, my beautiful little fiat! It’s a car I’ve wanted since I passed my test 3 years ago and to have my dream car is such an achievement. I also got a new job and it’s helped keep me busy and happy - I’ve made such amazing new friends and it’s done so much good in my life - I’ve also been offered a team leader role within three months so it can’t be all bad!

I’ve also reunited with a girl who I’m so happy is back in my life. My main girl Hannah, who I came back in contact with after finshing university has been my rock since my break up - I honestly can’t thank her enough for making this last half of this year bareable. She took me away to Dublin, another main highlight this year, and taught me that you don’t need a man to be happy, just friends and family who adore you. Here’s to many more memories and trips in 2018! Catch flights not feelings! 

Looking onward to 2018, I’ve decided it’s going to be all about working on myself. I’m no longer giving all of me to someone else, so it’s time I got in gear - get a journalism job that I love, keep building friendships and making memories with them, work on my fitness (I’m not saying I’ll lose weight this year cause I say it every year and I think it’s bad luck as it never works) and just in general, be a stronger, happier, better me.  

Goodbye 2017, I’ll only miss half of you.